The First Sign of Hope (a post from Justin)

This post is from Aimee's brother, Justin.

Rowan on a hike this past summer

I've been meaning to write a post for Pat's blog for a few weeks but haven't yet found the courage to share what I feel.  Frankly, the loss of my sister has so greatly dimmed the luster of the world for me that I didn't have anything positive to say.  As Pat told me yesterday, Aimee was the glue that held us together, and the grease to keep all the parts working.  The thought of going through the rest of my life without my sister is numbing, and it's a travesty to Rowan and to my future children that they won't have Aimee to smile and hug and love them.

But last night I glimpsed the first sign of hope since Aimee was killed.  Pat let Rowan have a "slumber party" over at my mother's house.  They spread out a blanket in front of the fireplace and roasted marshmellows.  They watched some Disney cartoons and played make believe games.  I got to watch Rowan smile and laugh, and it made me genuinely smile again and think that just maybe things will someday be alright. 

Rowan was the apple of my father's eye.  Though my father struggled with colon cancer for two and a half years, his time on this earth was greatly lengthened by the hope and the love he had for Rowan.  Aimee went over and beyond any "reasonable" effort to travel to Indiana.  She traveled back to Indiana often so that Dad could spend time with his granddaughter.  Aimee just knew these things; her intuition about people was more precise than anyone I've ever known.  I still miss her terribly, but in Rowan's eye, I can finally see a spark that inspires hope in me again.