My return to dating

One weekend, when Rowan was just a toddler (I can't recall exactly how old she was), I took her to a local park. She was just at the cusp of learning to walk, pulling herself up on furniture, and walking around while holding on to things. This day at the park, I held her hands and walked backwards while she walked towards me, holding on for dear life. After I felt like she had it down, I slipped my hands out of hers and eased backwards. She immediately got nervous and toddled after me, reaching for the safety of my hands.

I stayed just out of her reach.

She walked, on her own, for about 10-12 steps before she started getting really mad that I wouldn't hold still, so I finally let her grab my hands again. But she'd walked, on her own, and within another day or two, she was doing it regularly.

Baby steps.

In some ways, I feel like that now.

It's a less then a month until the anniversary of my and Aimee's first 'official' date. That was almost nine years ago, and I got to a point, when Aimee and I were engaged, that I realized that was probably going to be the last first date I ever had.

But I was wrong.

In a post I published back in August (Dating again), I wrote about feeling ready to begin dating again. Well it took almost another two months, but I have finally crept out of the shadows and made the bold leap forward. Well maybe not a leap. Maybe a step. I sat down at my laptop and set up a profile on one of the popular online dating sites, and sat back to see what would happen.

This is how people meet now, right?

Baby step.

On a side note, I've found it to be really clinical and unromantic. I mean, reading profiles of people the site sends me and deciding which ones I want to contact feels EXACTLY like screening job applicants. "Yes, I've read over your resume- er, profile, and looked over your qualifications- er characteristics, and I'd like to bring you in for an interview- er, date." Yuck.

But the process was also a little cathartic. I don't like stagnation - I like progress. Moving forward. Setting up that profiles and getting started was a step in that direction.

Then it went further.

Baby step.

So far, I have been on two dates, each with a different person. It was surreal, being out with someone other than Aimee, but it was also nice to get out of the house, talk to someone new, and daydream about the possibilities. And while both of the gals I went out with were tremendously nice, I felt enough of a connection with the second one that there will be a second date some time in the future. Other than that? Well, I'm not going to think too far ahead right now. I'll just see where things go, and take it nice and slow.

Baby steps... Baby steps...