Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Goodbye letter to Aimee

After scattering Aimee's ashes last week, this next step just felt natural...

Dearest Aimee,
You were a great girlfriend. You were fun, and we laughed a lot together. We had similar interests, and I always had things to talk to you about.

We traveled around some, and we ate out a lot, and went to football games. We drank coffee. We fell in love.

And you made me a better person.

You were a great wife. You took care of my needs, and put them in front of your own. You led me by your example of what a great marriage looked like, and you were patient as I learned from your example and not from nagging, complaining, or guilt trips.

You contributed to our home by the chores you took on, the money you earned, and the love you gave. We tackled various challenges together, as a team. We fell more deeply in love.

And you made me a better person.

You were a great mother. You poured yourself into Rowan. You modeled great parenting and nurturing for me. You encouraged my wishes to be involved in raising Rowan. We watched Rowan grow. We both delighted in Rowan, worked to help her develop in a healthy way, and planned her future.

We intentionally modeled the best possible behavior for her, treating each other consistently with love, affection, and a deep mutual respect. We showed her what an affectionate and mutually respectful marriage looked like. Our circle of love expanded immensely and added another beautiful soul.

And you made me a better person.

Now you're gone, and I'm doing this alone. But thanks to you, I'm far better equipped than I was. I have more patience, understanding, and appreciation. You taught me so much, and you did it without ever sitting me down and telling me what I was doing wrong or correcting me in any way. You were just an amazing woman, and you showed me the way to be a worthy partner to you and father to Rowan. And despite all my flaws, I learned something.

I became a better person.

You made me that way. And I can never thank you enough for that.

I'll always miss you. I'll always love you. And I vow to make sure Rowan knows how incredible you were. I will never, ever hide you from her.

Thanks to you, I am a better person.

Until we're reunited in heaven...



  1. Pat, that is very beautiful. Everything you said about Aimee is so very true. She was an amazing person. She touched so many lives. You will be an amazing father to Rowan. Just remember Aimee is with you and Rowan. She is smiling down on you both. No one else can better describe Aimee in the way you just did. Thoughts and prayers are wtih you both.

  2. This is so lovely Pat. Rowan is lucky to have a dad who can express his emotions and memories so well in writing. She will really cherish these thoughts you've captured.

  3. Raw and beautiful. Thanks for sharing, Pat.

  4. Continually to be touched by all you share, some of the most beautiful and poignant thoughts I have ever read. Thank you Pat