Thursday, June 14, 2012

Aimee's not dead - she's in California

A week or so ago, Rowan told Donna that she'd decided not to think of her mommy as being dead. "Let's pretend she's on a trip for 1000 years," she said.

Donna told me about this a day or so later, not in front of Rowan, so she didn't know I knew about it. But it was only another day or so before she said it to me too. When she did, I asked her, "Do you know where mommy went?"

Rowan thought about it for a minute. "California, " she said decisively.

Aimee's not dead, she's on a trip
"California?" I replied. "I think that sounds nice. It's sunny a lot there. I think if mommy's going to be on a trip for that long, she should go to places were it's sunny."

Rowan liked that idea, so we talked about other places where mommy might go and still be in mostly sunny places.

So Aimee might 'be on a trip for 1000 years', and might go any number of sunny places. But right now, apparently, she's in California.

So my Love, I hope you're sitting in a comfy chair on a warm beach, drinking a strong beverage with an umbrella in it. Dip your toes in the water for me. I got everything more or less under control here. See you in about 1000 years.


  1. But Aimee's not dead, she is very much alive in Heaven with Jesus Christ her savior. Maybe tell Rowan what Heaven is like per what the Bible says in Revelation, because Heaven is WAYYYY better than any sunny place here on earth, and it will get Rowan heavenly minded, and wanting to know the word of God even at this young age, and as she learns and grows in the Lord, she will know that her mommy is very very much ALIVE, and FOREVER not just 1000 years. God Bless you!!

    1. Oh, Rowan knows where Aimee really is - we talk about that. I think this is a way for her 4-year-old mind to better cope, to feel like her mommy is not as far away as heaven, even if she still won't see her again in this life. I think it's just as fine to think this as to think mommy is one of the stars looking down from the sky.

  2. ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS CONCEPT!! In some odd way, it makes it somewhat easier (for me too!) to think of Aimee in a warm, sunny place... and if it works for Rowan - AWESOME! (I also see her basking in The Son!!) Thank you Rowan and Daddy, for such a beautiful vision!

    1. Yeah, I could totally see why Rowan like this thought better than 'heaven', which is a concept she still doesn't understand yet, but for her means 'gone forever'. (Although she does know SHE'LL be there someday.) Frankly, I like it too. I like to think she's in San Diego, where she first realized she wanted to marry me. :)

  3. Hi Pat, I've been following your blog since the beginning but haven't been able to figure out how to post a comment...I'm trying now to post as Anonymous in hopes it will go through. I have contacts at St. Luke's in Federal Way, which is how I heard about what happened. You and your family remain in my prayers.

    First of all, you are a gifted, generous writer and I know you are helping many people who have suffered devastating losses. But you are also helping people like me be a better wife and mother and I thank you for that, so much.

    I wanted to recommend a book for you and for Rowan. It's called Heaven is for Real. They have a kids' version, too. Look it up on Amazon. It is an amazing story and a great read. We have had many losses in my church this past year and reading this book has really helped people.

    My best to you and thank you again,

    Brenda Higley
    Member of Christ the King Lutheran Church in Bellevue