Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Missing Aimee, but thankful

With Thanksgiving being this week, there's a lot of focus on what we're thankful for. As it relates to my time with Aimee, and the time I've lived since her death, I have come to realize there is a lot I'm thankful for, in the midst of her absence.

Most of the greatest gifts Aimee gave me
are related to being this child's daddy

  • I am thankful for eight years of laughs and of love. Being loved by Aimee was an incredible thing to experience.
  • I am thankful that she showed me how to be a great husband, and that she did so without ever saying a word.
  • I am thankful that she majored in early childhood development, plus took a class on childhood grief and trauma, and that she shared so much of what she'd learned with me. I am so much better equipped for where I am not than most people simply by virtue of having been lucky enough to have married a woman with Aimee's educational background.
  • I am thankful that so much of what she shared with me penetrated my thick skull. If that's not a sign of a Higher Power, I don't know what is.
  • As much work as being a single father has been, I am thankful that Aimee and I had Rowan. She has kept me grounded, and given me perspective over the last 11 months.
  • I am thankful for the countless friends and loved ones who've stepped up and stepped in through more ways than I can begin to count. 
  • I am thankful for the ways modern technology has made it easier to preserve memories. I have digital photos and videos of Aimee. I also have this blog.
  • I am thankful I was raised with a strong faith in God that helps me see the (much) bigger picture, which in turn helps me deal with both my grief at Aimee's death and my anger at the reasons it happened.
  • Finally, the last thing I'm thankful for (tears in my eyes as I write this) are all the times Aimee said to me, "I have faith that if anything ever happened to me, you'd do a great job raising Rowan." For as high as her standards were, to have that complete faith in me is just amazing. When I've struggled as a single father the last eleven months, I've held on to that and felt like if Aimee could have that kind of faith in me, maybe I could allow myself to feel it as well.

To each and every one of you, have a happy and blessed Thanksgiving.


  1. I am incredibly thankful for having been given the opportunity to spend a weekend helping you and Aimee prepare for the birth of your precious daughter.

    Wishing you and Rowan a most blessed Thanksgiving.

    ~ Patti Ramos

  2. Pat you are right, Aimee had a way of showing things to people with out saying a word. She was a very birght, intelligent young lady. She did have high standards, her faith in people gave them the push that they nee(ed) to do the best and be the best they can be. I am thankful I got to know and become friends with her, and only wish I could of found her sooner then I did, when I did. I hope that you Rowan, Donna, Justin and Caroline can have a good Thanksgiving, Thoughts and prayers with you all.