Countdown to disaster: T minus 9 days

This post is part of a series that reflects on what we were doing, what I was thinking and feeling, and what this time last year was like.

It's Saturday, December 10, 2011
Tonight is one of two night a year that Rowan's preschool offers a "Date Night" for the parents. For $10, they keep the kids for about five hours, feed them dinner, and show a movie. Aimee and I jump at the chance for such cheap and reliable childcare.

My Facebook post from that night

After dropping Rowan off, we drive up to downtown Seattle and get dinner at Rock Bottom Brewery. It's a busy holiday Saturday night, and we have to wait for a table, but we're blissfully happy to be out on the town on a Saturday night, just the two of us, and not spending a fortune for a sitter. Despite the winter chill, it is otherwise a pretty nice evening.

After dinner we walk down 5th Avenue, and stop in a couple of stores for some Christmas shopping. We end up at a shopping center called the Westlake Center, which on its third floor has a balcony that overlooks a plaza, which is decked out for Christmas. There's a beautiful tree, tons of holiday lights, and a massive star lit up store an a nearby store. We each take the other's picture - I with my phone and Aimee with her camera. Sadly, we fail to get one together. I always hated getting my picture taken, and she gave me a bad time about getting photos together. I guess now I do wish I'd been more cooperative about that.

The conversation is both sweet and excited, because tomorrow we'll be leaving for eight days in the Florida Keys. We can't wait for the sunshine and warmth.

We get some more shopping done, including Adele's CD "21" for Aimee, and Aimee picking out a present that she plans to have Rowan give me. I would end up forgetting all about it until I stumbled across it a couple of weeks after Christmas had passed. That would end up being a very sad moment.

We wrapped up our date and headed back to pick Rowan up. Although we were actually a few minutes ahead of schedule, I was still characteristically impatient with slow drivers on the freeway. Aimee remarked that I was the only person she knew that could be mad because I was only going to be a little early instead of a lot early.

December 10, 2011 was a really good day.

Journey to Tragedy

I don't know why, but over the last couple of months I've thought a lot about the series of events that ultimately led to Aimee's death. I don't mean just the decision to go scuba diving that day and the series of things that happened on the boat, I mean over the course of months or even longer. Many of those events have no direct bearing on Aimee's actual death, yet they all led to it. Here's what I mean.

May, 2006: Aimee and I are on our honeymoon, a Caribbean cruise. Among the stops and excursions we enjoy, one of the offerings is your choice of a snorkeling outing or scuba diving. Aimee tells me she'd love to go scuba diving, but the cost is pretty high, and the location doesn't seem to offer much, so we both opt for the snorkeling instead (I would have picked that anyway, as I had no desire to go scuba diving at that point).

November 2010: Donna's father Don dies. She inherits, among many other things, his car. She doesn't need it or want it, and both my and Aimee's cars were getting up there in miles, so she gives it to us.

December 19, 2010: Aimee's father Terry dies after a battle with cancer. Although he'd lived most of his life in Indiana, we had moved him and Donna close to us during the last few months of his life so that Aimee could be a better support to them during this time.

Spring, 2011: Conversations begin between Aimee, Donna, and Justin about how to recognize the anniversary of Terry's death when it comes around in December 2011. If I remember correctly, Florida is offered as an option because the family had vacationed there during Aimee's childhood, and it held good memories for them. It was also a place Terry had enjoyed visiting. And most importantly, it wasn't here, as the family had decided the last place they wanted to be on that sad anniversary was in the town where he passed away.

July 2011: After a long battle of finding documents and filling out paperwork, the car inherited from Aimee's grandfather is finally in our ownership. We decide to keep Aimee's car and sell mine. The timing means that I can use the proceeds from the sale of my car to purchase plane tickets for us to go to Florida in December, which I do soon after the car is sold.

Summer 2011: A vacation house in the Florida Keys is selected as the place where we'll stay during our time there. Divided amongst the three households, the cost is relatively affordable for the eight day stay. Excitement about the trip begins to build.

Aimee on a date night the night
before we left for Florida. When
I took this, I had no idea she'd
be dead eight days later.

December 11, 2011: Late in the evening, Aimee, Rowan, and I arrive at Donna's house to pick her up to go to the airport for our red-eye flight to Miami. Not surprisingly, Donna is not ready. What is surprising is that Aimee and I completely switched our typical roles, with me patiently helping her finish packing while Aimee fumed. It was surreal, until you realized that Aimee was hungry and she didn't do especially well when she hadn't eaten.

December 12, 2011: We arrive in Miami, tired as hell but otherwise none the worse for the wear. After breakfast at IHOP we begin the drive down to the Keys. Everyone falls asleep except me (I was driving). We spend part of the time listening to the CD I had bought Aimee as an early Christmas present, Adele's "21". The songs on this CD are now forever linked to this trip.

Throughout this week, Justin and Caroline go scuba diving several times, including on Saturday, December 17. Aimee discusses her desire to go, and they encourage her to consider giving it a try. She and I also discuss it, with me also encouraging her. Additionally, we talk about me also going, since I'd somewhat warmed up to the idea after five and half years. However, I hadn't gotten to the point of really wanting to go, and then there was the matter of cost, so we remained undecided, ultimately, until the morning of December 18.

December 18, 2011: If you want a full account of this day, as seen from my point of view, you can read this post. Let me just say here that I decided to stay with Rowan while Aimee went diving, and that probably was the one saving grace in that horrible day.

She died at roughly 3:15 in the afternoon.

So many events and details, seemingly unrelated, but which all in one way or another were part of the road to the tragedy we experienced on December 18. Like I said at the beginning: I don't know why this has been on my mind, but it has.

One last date night

On December 14, the whole clan drove down to Key West from our vacation house just outside Key Largo. The weather was gorgeous and the drive went pretty smoothly. We took two cars (neither rental would fit all six of us), which later would turn out to be advantageous to Aimee and I.

After arriving and eating lunch, we split into two groups. Donna, Justin and Caroline went to the Hemingway House, while Aimee and I took Rowan to a little museum about the history of the wrecking industry on Key West and then to the Aquarium. Both places offered a cool experience.

The museum used actors to share information about the historical significance of wrecking and salvage of ships near the Keys. Above the museum was a tower than went quite a ways up, offering great views of the town and the water. Rowan had fun ringing a bell up there, and the really strong breeze up there only slightly dampened all of our enthusiasm.

Aimee & Rowan outside
Key West Aquarium Dec. 14

The aquarium stop started with an employee standing outside with a large turtle that Rowan could touch, and I took Rowan's and Aimee's picture with it. Inside we were part of a tour that included everyone getting to pet the tail of a shark, feed some of the fish, and a simulated tide pool with real sea creatures that you could pick up and hold. These includes conchs, starfish, and others. Rowan had a blast.

We finished our tour with a stop at an ice cream shop, while the other group grabbed some key lime pie, and then we rendezvoused. It was as we walked back to the cars that I had an idea...

Aimee & I on a date night in Key West, Dec 14

"Hey Rowan," I asked. "Do you want to ride back with mommy and I, or with uncle Justin and aunt Caroline?" To my delight, she chose Justin and Caroline. They agreed to look after Rowan until we got home so Aimee and I could stay and have some time alone. So everyone else went back in one car, and we stayed behind for an impromptu date night.

We went to a seafood place for drinks and appetizers. We followed that with souvenir shopping (and buying a bunch of delicious fudge to take back to everyone else). Finally, we walked along the water and our gazes alternated between the street performers and the sunset. In other words, it was the kind of carefree fun that came so easily to Aimee and I when we were out together. It was a perfect date night.

It was our last one.