Jones and Gracey sentenced for Aimee's death

*Much of the text below was what I posted on Facebook a few days ago, but I've added a bit more here.

Well, it's finally over. Christopher Jones and Alison Gracey have been sentenced. The final chapter in this story is closed.

As I may have explained before, they both pleaded guilty to a manslaughter charge, with other charges being waived as part of the plea deal. When it comes time to determine sentence recommendations, defendants are 'scored' on a number factors: level of culpability of the crime, criminal history, and a bunch of other stuff. And those scores are based on what can be PROVED, not on what people think or even know.

Given all of this, I was told to expect a sentence for Gracey to be roughly equal to the time she's already served (about 18 months), and for Jones to be a bit higher.

When all was said and done, Gracey was indeed sentenced to time served. Again, this based on the level of fault that could be proved. Jones got higher than I expected, but lower than I wanted (and asked for): 51 months. He will also get credit for time already served.

Jones' sentence particularly bothered me. Based n the documentation collected by the investigation, he was the person who repeatedly made decisions that put people at risk, lied about the ownership of the boat (as a citizen of the UK he would not have been eligible to operate the boat commercially), flouted the Coast Guard inspection failures by reclassifying the boat for fewer passengers and then taking more on anyway, and more.

Both the US Attorney, and I when I had the opportunity to speak, tried to convince the judge that this case was not just about Jones and Gracey, or even about Aimee. There are thousands of charter boat operators in Florida, and we wanted to judge to send a message that flouting regulations and putting people at risk would be dealt with harshly. But that's not how it played out.

The guidance for Jones' "score" put him in a recommended sentence range of 51 months to around 75-ish (I can't recall the exact number now). By law, the manslaughter charge he pleaded guilty to came with a maximum penalty of 96 months (8 years). The judge spent a lot of time making sure he was clear on those two higher numbers, so I had hoped that the sentence would be stiff. Instead, he went with the lowest end of the recommended range. His explanation to the court (and to me directly) was that while he felt for my loss, he wanted a sentence that was, and I quote, "fair."

But here's the thing: I don't see any reason in hell why he should be concerned about being "fair.' This wasn't a case of Jones just being careless. This wasn't some "act of God" accident. Key Largo Scuba Shack's owners repeatedly and intentionally put lives at risk, and the worst case scenario happened. And given the severity of the problems with the boat, which were ALL KNOWN to Jones, the ending was inevitable, if not for Aimee, than for someone else.

No sentence would ever bring Aimee back. No sentence would ever do justice to the magnitude of the loss that is, to this day, felt by so many. And I have never placed any of my happiness on the outcome of these legal proceedings. In fact I assumed long ago they'd never be caught. I tell myself that any sentence is more than I thought I would get. And honoring Aimee's memory means living the best life I can, and that's what I try to do and pass on to our daughter.

Molasses Reef, where Aimee died,
is due east of this spot in Key Largo, FL

Yes, the final chapter in this long, sad story is now closed. All that remains is the epilogue, and that will be written by how we live our lives now. And I intend to live them as Aimee did: with laughter and love, and making the world around me better in whatever ways I can. I owe her that much for all she did for me.

To all of the readers of this blog, thanks to all of you for your love and support these past 10+ years. It's been very, very much appreciated. 

PS. Several years ago, I had decided to write a book about all of this. But I kept stalling out... I couldn't figure out the reason for writing, or what I hoped a book would accomplish. I tried to outline it, but I couldn't find a flow or an ending. Now that the sentencing has happened, I'm feeling the urge again. Maybe now that the legal ending has happened, I can use that to tie together a narrative about this whole affair. But I'm still uncertain about what I would say, other than to just relay the story. And I feel like a book needs to be more than just that.

Thoughts from anyone? Should I write a book, and if so, why? That's the big question.

Sentencing is this week...

 Just a QUICK update in case anyone is still following this blog for news...

Alison Gracey and Christopher Jones pleaded guilty a few months ago, and their sentencing is this Friday, September 9, 2021 in Miami, Florida. I will be attending the hearing and will give a victim impact statement. It is my hope that the judge will sentence them to the maximum allowable under the law. Still insufficient for the loss they're responsible for, but still the best we can ask for. So, I intend to ask for it. 

I'll update the blog here once the sentencing has been completed.

They're here!!!

Justice is a funny thing. We often long for it when we've been wronged. It becomes such a focus for us when we face a tragedy that has a person or persons who are clearly at fault. We may even become obsessed with it. And yet even when justice is served, and it's the best we could hope for, it may still feel hollow in the aftermath, for the loss we suffered is still there. The best consolation is that those responsible for our loss and our pain have not gotten away with it. But our loss and our pain are still there.

All of that brings me to today's exciting news: Alison Jones and Christopher Gracey have been extradited to the U.S. at long last. As of earlier today they are once again, after more than 10 long years, back on American soil. Now that they're here, they'll finally face the federal charges stemming from Aimee's death in December 2011. I received this photo from my contact at the Coast Guard earlier today: 

Folks, that is a beautiful thing right there.

As for the aforementioned justice, we're still not there. This is a HUGE step, yes. These assholes have been evading the law for more than 10 years, so this is critical. But we still have the criminal process to play out. For those of us who loved Aimee, we'll celebrate this milestone tonight, and then we'll start looking forward to the next one tomorrow.

Justice may not change anything, but we want and deserve it anyway.

Big news, and cautious optimism

 So those who have been following our tale know that the two owners of Key Largo Scuba Shack - Christopher Jones and Alison Gracey, have been on the run for almost 10 years now. TWICE they've been arrested, twice they've been set free on bond, and twice they're gone on the run again.

Last fall I was approached by the producers of the show America's Most Wanted. The show had been off the air some some time, but they wanted to revive it, and they wanted to feature Aimee's case. I, along with Aimee's family agreed, and several of us participated in interviews leading up to the episode. 

That episode, which can be seen here, aired on Monday, March 29.

And a whole 3 days later, Jones and Gracey were arrested in Madrid, Spain! 

Now, I'd like to be excited that after almost 10 years, these two SOBs are in custody. But we've seen this play out before, haven't we? First in St. Maarten, and then again in France, these two have been picked up, freed on bond, and then fled again. 

I'm holding out hope that the authorities in Spain know better this time. The time for Jones and Gracey to face their day in court is long overdue.

Something (small) to report

 Hello, all my old friends. I know I've been quiet here for some time. While I've had some things to say on here from time to time, I just haven't been up to writing here. I've largely gotten on with the business of living my life, exactly as Aimee would have wanted.

But, that doesn't mean that what happened back in 2011 is not still on my mind. Of course it is. And along with so many other aspects of that terrible day, I wait and hope for the day when the two people who carry the largest share of the blame will finally be arrested, extradited, and brought back to the US for trial. For more than 9 years, they have eluded that fate.

I'd like to say that now that's changed, but it hasn't. However, a new tool will soon be employed to try and bring closure to this chapter of Aimee's story. I'll be sharing more on that later this week!

Remarrying after the death of my wife, Part I: The impact on my daughter

In the months following Aimee's death, my daughter told me that she hoped to have a new mom someday.

Well, she has a new mom.

Some parts of that process have been good. Others, well, not bad, but difficult.

I am one of those people who likes to try and determine the worst-case scenario, and then prepare for it. If something better than that happens, great. If the worst happens, then I was ready for it. And so, our situation is not unexpected.

Life is harder if you're not silly sometimes

In our case, things are not bad by any stretch of the imagination. It's, well, normal. Sarah loves my daughter, and my daughter loves Sarah. But despite my daughter being completely on board about Sarah and I getting married, there's now this tension as she adjusts to not being the only other person getting my attention and affection. Plus, she's doing what children do - testing limits and figuring out her own dynamic with Sarah.

Sarah, for her part, had to jump into the deep end of the pool. As an employee of a school district, she has summers off. That means that when we got married in June of 2015, she went from being a single woman with her own condo to being a full-time stay-at-home mom (for a few months). The bonding time for the two of them was invaluable. But it also meant that neither got much of a break from the other, which I think would have helpful when making a major transition like this.

Things have been bumpy at times. My daughter went  into counseling for a bit. Then Sarah and I did. Then we all did some more. Daughter has recently started seeing a new therapist better suited to her current feelings. Sarah and I did another round.

No, it hasn't always been easy.

Now that we're more than two and a half years in, the situation has evolved. Our daughter (yes, I often say 'our daughter' now) is still somewhat jealous of the attention I give to Sarah, but it's better. The two of them are developing a nice relationship that continues to grow. And we all continue to grow together - sometimes with laughter and sometimes with tears, but always with love.

Breaking news, and it's not good

About a year and a half ago, I announced on this blog that the two owners of the Key Largo Scuba Shack - Christopher Jones and Alison Gracey - had finally been arrested on the island of St. Maarten. Of course, the wheels of justice turn very slowly, so additional news had been hard to come by. However, there HAS now been news, and it's not good. Well, actually there was some good news, then bad.

First, the good news. The US petitioned for extradition of Jones and Gracey so they could face charges related to Aimee's death (for those who don't recall, these two are British nationals, not US citizens). The Dutch court in St. Maarten arrested them, seized their passports, and released them on bond based on their lawyer's assurance that they were not a flight risk. Then this past September, the courts finally got around to ruling on extradition, and denied Jones' and Gracey's appeal to block extradition. This, in turn, cleared the way for them to be arrested and returned to the US. Great news, right?

As it turns out, Jones and Gracey, whose passports had been seized, actually WERE a flight risk. Since the Dutch had taken their passports, they simply applied to Britain for new ones. The Brits granted them, and by the time the Dutch authorities came to arrest them to extradite them back to the US, Jones and Gracey had fled St. Maarten. According to the Attorney General's office in Florida, they appear to have moved to France.

Now we will need to start over, petitioning France to extradite them and waiting for that process to run its course all over again.

I accepted a long time ago that these two may never see justice in this lifetime. In order to move on in my own life and build a new life that had joy, I let go of the need to see these two punished for what happened. But don't think for a second that I still wouldn't love for the two of them to see a courtroom someday. And if they do, I'll be there, as will Aimee's mother, brother, and others who loved her.

That possibility, however, now seems a lot more remote.

An arrest has been made. Now what?

So on Monday I found out that those MOST responsible for Aimee's tragic death were arrested on the island of St. Maarten. After the initial euphoria wore off, I started to consider the next logical question: now what?

First off, I never expected this day to come. As British citizens who were outside the U.S. at the time of the incident, and who were in a member of the British Commonwealth (Bahamas), there was little to no chance of them being arrested or extradited. I had accepted this reality, and decided that I needed to move on with my life with the likelihood that we would never see justice done to these people.

But now that they've been arrested, here's what I surmise what happens next, using my best educated guess:

1. The U.S. Attorney in Florida will seek extradition of Chris Jones and Alison Gracey to the U.S.
2. Given that they're no longer in a British Commonwealth country (St. Maarten is Dutch), my hunch is that extradition will be granted, and Jones and Gracey will be turned over to U.S. authorities.
3. I think formal charges have already been filed, so I think the next step would be the beginning of the standard judicial process: arraignment, bail hearings, etc.
   (My hope is that they are not granted bail. First, they'd been living in the Caribbean for the last few years on the run, so I feel like they've used up their 'hall pass' so to speak. Two, I believe them to be a flight risk. And while they may not easily leave the U.S. without their passports, it's a big country to hide in, and people do manage to sneak out of the country from time to time.)
4. Then we'll either have a trial, or they may plea bargain to avoid a trial. 
5. If there's any justice at all, they'll do time in prison.

I can guarantee you this: if there's a trial, I'm going. Another guarantee I can make? No matter how much time they do, it won't be enough to make up for Aimee's loss. But I don't plan to dwell on that. While I do hope for justice, that is part of their life's path, not mine. Whether or not they go to jail impacts them, not me. 

As developments continue, I'll keep everyone posted.

Aimee's killers arrested!

If you're new to this tragic story, here's a very brief recap (a fuller narrative can be found in the paragraph above, just below the "Missing Aimee" title): My first wife (and mother to my daughter) Aimee was killed in December 2011 when the scuba dive boat she was on capsized and sank, trapping her inside. In a post from December 2013, I describe all the parties responsible for her death, including the primary owners of Key Largo Scuba Shack, Chris Jones and Alison Gracey. In that post, I mention that those two were British citizens, that they were out of the U.S.l at the time of the incident, and that they'd basically gone into hiding.

They are hiding no more!!!

According to a news report, forwarded to me by my attorney in Florida, Interpol arrested these two scumbags this past Friday, June 5 on the island of St. Maarten. The US Attorney's office in Florida is now seeking extradition.

Here's a link to the article, though it doesn't actually contain a lot of information.

As anyone who has suffered loss at the hands of someone else will probably tell you: nothing brings back the loved one, but justice for those responsible helps bring closure. This is an incredibly important step toward that justice being served.

My marriage advice to women (and men)

Are you contemplating getting married? If so, please let me offer you some marriage advice.

So now I'm giving out marriage advice? Maybe that seems like a bit of a stretch for a blog about my experience and grief after losing my wife, doesn't it?

Trust me, this is related. And it's important.

There was something Aimee used to say to me when we were married, something that meant so much to me: "I know that if anything ever happens to me, you're going to be a great father to our daughter." When she said it, I took it as a wife and mother just being sweet to her husband. But after Aimee's sudden death, I leaned a lot on that one sentence for encouragement. Aimee had faith in me - warranted or not - and I needed to step up and show her that she wasn't wrong. It was important to me, but it was critical to our daughter that I did so.

I think men and women approach marriage differently. I can't speak for women, being a man, but I just assumed Aimee would be a great mom because of who she was as a a person. I never once considered how she'd do if something happened to me. The fact is, she would've been a rock star, just like she was before she died. When Aimee loved you, she did so with a fierce devotion and dedication to your happiness. There was nothing in the world like being loved by Aimee. That went doubly so for our daughter.

So when Aimee looked at me and said she was confident in my ability to raise our daughter alone, that spoke volumes to me about her faith in me. Either that, or she knew I'd take that as a challenge to meet her expectations.

Aimee and I on our wedding day

Regardless of exactly why she said it, it worked. Since Aimee's death, I have been almost fanatical about my parenting abilities, taking my responsibility to my daughter even more seriously than I did before. And while I of course fall short sometimes, I see the evidence that I'm doing a good job all the time - my daughter is happy, smart, funny, and most importantly, emotionally healthy and stable. Her counselors have said a number of times that I've done as great a job with her as anyone could have ever expected. It's my hope that when Aimee and I meet in heaven some day, she'll say the same thing.

So ladies (and men, too), here's my advice to you:

• When you're considering whether the apple of your eye is marriage material, think hard about your possible future children, and think about what kind of parent you think they'd be without you there. It is very important that you're honest with yourself about this.
• Just as importantly, or maybe more so, think about what kind of decisions they'd be likely to make about new relationships. Would he/she be careful about keeping their dating life and parenting life separate for a while, until there was some certainty the relationship would last? Will he/she protect your children's feelings? Will they continue to put your children and the child's needs ahead of their own, and ahead of this new relationship, at least for a good, long time?
• Can you even handle the thought of him/her in another relationship if something happened to you? If not, I respectfully ask you to read this post.
• Also critical (especially for women choosing a husband). are they a person who's in touch with their emotions, and knows who to handle them? Grief is a terrible thing, and many people (ahem, guys) don't always handle it well. This is bad for the person grieving, but can be especially harmful on their children. 
• Most important of all, do they have a solid foundation that they've built their life on? For me, that foundation is my faith in God, as it is for many others too. Other people may have a different foundation for theirs. In any event, there should be something they can hold onto when the world seems to have been turned completely upside down.

It's so easy and understandable to get caught up in the excitement and joy of a relationship. I know, because I've been there. And of course, considering what kind of spouse and parent they'll be is extremely important. But please don't neglect to give serious thought to how they'd do if suddenly left to lead and care for your family on their own.